the post office

Have any of you been to a local post office recently...well , I had been to one yesterday. Nowadays, with emails and especially, WhatsApp, you really don't find any major reason for visiting the post office . But yesterday was another day...and I had to visit the local post office. Like any other government office, I had to perform the most common tradition...stand in a serpentine queue. There were 4 windows having their own queues. In the good old days the post offices used to be very dark places...as if the light was banned. Well this is no longer the case, with the office being well lighted. But many other things continue as before. ...for eg. You still cannot see which master is sitting on the other side of the window unless you reach right at the window...and here too you have to move your head up and down...to see his entire face. But really  , why bother seeing the masters face, when actually it is his pen which is going to write your destiny. Anyways I stood in the serpentine queue and started observing the surroundings to pass the time. The first person to catch my attention was this wig wearing fellow standing just ahead of me...what a funny wig it was...if you have seen the old Ramayana or Mahabharata on DD...remember the flowing curving wigs that all the men folk in these serials used to flaunt...well it was just the same....and was this man sweating profusely!!...maybe it was due to the combination of a hardly there fan which was rotating overhead, plus the wig...and he had this ugly habit of wiping the sweat away from his brow with the crook of his fingers and in a single shake of his hands, depositing the sweat on the floor...when he did this the first time , he managed to deposit some of it on me too...so I became very alert to this movement of his and whenever he tried it again, I used to jump to the side...anyways I then noticed a small girl who had come with her grandmother. Now this small 4 year old was the epitome of patience...every 5 minutes she was asking her grandmother, "aaji, when will we go home?". Her grandmother belonged to that group of denizens called the agents ...agents for the various schemes offered by the post office. And the grandmother had that aggressive demeanour which comes naturally to those working in this field ...but there were 6 other ladies belonging to the same family of agents...and here's where everything went out of hand. Since all of these agents wanted their own work to be done first , the decibel level went through the roof . And I developed a new found respect for the man behind the counter....he had a zen master like calm on his face...or whatever face was visible through the window. He was facing this scenario almost every day of the week. Finally through all this chaos and noise I finally reached the window...only to be told that for the transaction to be concluded, xerox of the PAN Card is required. That I had the Aadhar card copy cut no ice with him...really it's very frustrating that the card for which you took a hard earned leave from office, and took this leave coordinating with my wife's leave as well as my daughter's leave, stood in line for 3 hours, sat in front of a camera which clicks the most obnoxious selfies, arranged so many different types of documents for verification, is not really the most demanded verification document....well the frustration levels are bound to be stretched to breaking point. I tried all possible ways to persuade the person sitting behind the window to accept the lone document I was carrying ...but to no effect. At this point I could well imagine myself to be a lowly village worker at the mercy of a  rich zamindar who holds all the strings of hisfate...finally I had no other option but to go back home to fetch the PAN card copy after wasting a better part of the day standing in the wretched serpentine queue...
Have you ever had such an experience friends
Yatin

The Captain

Recently our test captain retired from Test Cricket. Now he had additional time to himself. Of course, since the country plays very less test cricket, this additional time was not much. He had decided that this additional time will be dedicated to practice for the one days, for the T-20 internationals, for the IPL , for Champions league. And hopefully in the same order...not in the reverse order. But alas, man proposes...god disposes...or rather the better half disposes. We hear the better half has started demanding more time from the ex-captain. After all, for all these days she had to do the domestic work...where she was the captain of their domestic team. Now the star batsman with the helicopter shot and with safe wicket keeping gloves and great captaincy skills was a great potential addition to her domestic team. So she laid out a list of training tasks for the great one himself. He was put in charge of training the domestic staff-
task 1) sweeping the floor - what better way than to employ the helicopter shot where the dirt can be  deposited from the place where it is, directly to the dust bin . Advantage - saves time
Sometimes the sweep shot can be employed to remove dirt from below furniture. Advantage - with the strong arms of the captain the dirt can be easily displaced from its current position to somewhere near the dustbin
Task 2) fetching the eggs or tomatoes , potatoes or onions - with the safe hands of a wicketkeeper, the respective shopkeeper can be asked to directly throw the required items from across the street to the balcony where they will be safely caught and then deposited to the containers. Advantage - saves the necessity of going all the way to the market
Task 3) washing clothes with the clothes pin - whose technique will be better than the best bludgeoning batsman himself!! After all the the clothes pin certainly resembles the bat. Advantage - the clothes are now very cleanly washed...of course sometimes the cloth gets frayed ...but it's a part of the biz
Task 4) as you all know, the captain sometimes likes to chance his arm over and bowl...so what better way to use this skill than to put it to use in cleaning the overhead fans. Advantage - the fans now circulate cleaner air
Task5) as you all know, the captain plans out all the field placements and directs the fielders to their places by pointing out the locations - this skill is used by asking him to direct the domestic helps to their proper positions - Advantage - new josh in the domestic staff in doing their designated duties
So this is how the freed up time of the captain and his well known cricketing skills are put to good use by the better half.
And advantage to the captain in all this, did you ask? Well he certainly gets a good workout and practice to come out on the top of his game, whenever he will next play for the country and that too without leaving the comfy confines of his house. And on top of that he keeps his better half in good humour, which is very important in this epoch.
Do you agree with me, friends...
Yatin

the captain

Recently our test captain retired from Test Cricket. Now he had additional time to himself. Of course, since the country plays very less test cricket, this additional time was not much. He had decided that this additional time will be dedicated to practice for the one days, for the T-20 internationals, for the IPL , for Champions league. And hopefully in the same order...not in the reverse order. But alas, man proposes...god disposes...or rather the better half disposes. We hear the better half has started demanding more time from the ex-captain. After all, for all these days she had to do the domestic work...where she was the captain of their domestic team. Now the star batsman with the helicopter shot and with safe wicket keeping gloves and great captaincy skills was a great potential addition to her domestic team. So she laid out a list of training tasks for the great one himself. He was put in charge of training the domestic staff-
task 1) sweeping the floor - what better way than to employ the helicopter shot where the dirt can be  deposited from the place where it is, directly to the dust bin . Advantage - saves time
Sometimes the sweep shot can be employed to remove dirt from below furniture. Advantage - with the strong arms of the captain the dirt can be easily displaced from its current position to somewhere near the dustbin
Task 2) fetching the eggs or tomatoes , potatoes or onions - with the safe hands of a wicketkeeper, the respective shopkeeper can be asked to directly throw the required items from across the street to the balcony where they will be safely caught and then deposited to the containers. Advantage - saves the necessity of going all the way to the market
Task 3) washing clothes with the clothes pin - whose technique will be better than the best bludgeoning batsman himself!! After all the the clothes pin certainly resembles the bat. Advantage - the clothes are now very cleanly washed...of course sometimes the cloth gets frayed ...but it's a part of the biz
Task 4) as you all know, the captain sometimes likes to chance his arm over and bowl...so what better way to use this skill than to put it to use in cleaning the overhead fans. Advantage - the fans now circulate cleaner air
Task5) as you all know, the captain plans out all the field placements and directs the fielders to their places by pointing out the locations - this skill is used by asking him to direct the domestic helps to their proper positions - Advantage - new josh in the domestic staff in doing their designated duties
So this is how the freed up time of the captain and his well known cricketing skills are put to good use by the better half.
And advantage to the captain in all this, did you ask? Well he certainly gets a good workout and practice to come out on the top of his game, whenever he will next play for the country and that too without leaving the comfy confines of his house. And on top of that he keeps his better half in good humour, which is very important in this epoch.
Do you agree with me, friends...
Yatin

Explore...kerala chronicles

Guys...When you say “EXPLORE”, it usually means exploring new destinations. But what about exploring the traditions of other cultures...

I had gone to Kerala during the Diwali vacations with family...first stop Trivandrum...and as you might know, the city of Trivandrum is famous for the Shree Padmanabha Swamy temple...a very beautiful and majestic temple dedicated to the Lord Vishnu. And it goes without saying that we had to visit the temple . So we started for the temple from the hotel in an auto. After crossing many lanes and bylanes we reached the temple at @4.30 pm. Actually the auto dropped us at some distance away from the temple since autos or other vehicles are not allowed near the temple.

There is a huge archway through which you enter and as you near the temple you see the water tank near it. Water tanks near the temple are a hallmark of all small and big temples in Kerala. This water tank was very well maintained with ducks swimming in it.

Anyway there were many other tourists like us who had come to take Darshan. My wife, myself and our daughter were proceeding towards the temple, like you approach any other temple in amchi Mumbai, when suddenly we heard shouts of  "MUNDU...MUNDU..."and a portly old gentleman in the typical dhoti worn by the denizens of Kerala came running towards us gestulating wildly. A whole lot of syllables, mono syllables , syntax and maybe syntax errors shot off from his mouth, which I was not in a position to understand. Then he pointed towards his own lower garment, which was a dhoti, and pointed towards a shop on the road side. Finally through all these gestures I was able to make out that I too had to wear a dhoti, also known as a Mundu before entering the divine temple. And my wife and daughter too, had to wear the Mundum Neriyathum which are a combination of the lower and upper garments.

As we approached the shop we saw a crowd of people who were there to get these garments. The shop was selling these and the first thought that came to mind is, what to do with them after the visit is over. Anyways I pushed that thought to the background and stood in line. Finally on reaching the counter I disbursed the payment and now became the proud owner of a Mundu.

Now the next question presented itself, which was, where do I change into it, and that too, modestly. While women had the option to wear the garments over their own clothes, the same option was not available to the men. I saw some men entering the same shop from a side door and I too joined the crowd. Since I have never worn this particular garment before I was in a fix on how to go about it. So I started observing a few other men who were at it in earnestness. Observing them I could make out there were many like me who were doing it the first time. Seeing them I had a go at it. The first time I tried to wrap it around myself, as I passed the end from one hand to the other, it came off from the other side. I tried out a lot of permutations and combinations but without any luck. Then one gentleman pointed out that I cannot continue wearing my jeans below the mundu. That presented another challenge...now not only I had to wear the mundu properly, but also remove the jeans and ensure that the mundu did not come off while walking or something. I also had to ensure that it is not worn so tight, that I will be able to walk in only baby steps...too many challenges, to go in the presence of the Almighty.

Finally I applied my gaothi dimaag...first I tied one end of the mundu to a clutch of mundu cloth securely (mundu is a long piece of cream coloured cloth)...after checking the security of this arrangement by pulling on it, I removed my jeans gently...so far so good...once the mundu was secure on my waist, I then proceeded to wrap the remaining cloth round and round around my body...and finally the the end of the mundu cloth was tied again to the first knot...I WAS READY TO FACE THE LORD...triumphantly I came out of the shop to see my wife and daughter bursting into uncontrollable giggles...But I was walking like a Kerala king going to meet the Lord...when suddenly the same portly gentleman again came running towards me shouting "SHIRT...SHIRT..." . I realized that all other men in the vicinity were shirtless.. And this was expected of me too. Gingerly I removed my shirt too and handed it over to the same shop for which I was given a token coin...the same system which is used in Malls everywhere...

Finally the three of us proceeded to meet the divine Lord himself...a thought struck me that you are going to the Lord 's abode leaving behind all your material belongings ...you go there as a new person...

And let me tell you what happened to the mundu and the mundum neriyathum after we finished our visit...a Gujarati family approached us and asked "what will you do with these garments later on...since they are not useful to you now, please sell them to us at a discount...by doing this we will get the garments at lower price than the shop...and you will also be benefited" . Thus immediately on exiting the Lords abode, we were back to the materialistic world in a jiffy...

Yatindra Tawde