Sunday 16 October 2016

The roads in Mumbai

Today's front page news in a Marathi language paper says, “Roads in Mumbai to be smoothened by tomorrow”. I was not expecting this from a respected daily in Marathi language. After all the Marathi dailies are known to print factual news. And then they go and print such fiction. Curbs should be placed on such reporters. Playing with the feelings of citizens? Who, in the right senses can even contemplate such perfidy.

But, if by chance, there is some truth in the above headline?? The cars, motorcycles, buses, autos, scooters, and the common man is now used to cratered roads. The shock absorbers in my car are no longer shocked when they hit a pot hole. The tires have developed extra grips to navigate the pot holes better. Even cars, like The Mercedes, the Audis and the BMW’s have been designed and developed for Indian roads. During the rainy season, entire families of tadpoles, frogs, et al, make their homes in the pot holes. If their homes are levelled, will it not come under the purview of ‘Cruelty to Animals’? A certain lady in Delhi will surely be very angry and will ask for status quo.

Even the bi-pedal animal, like the homo sapient, will also find it rough going if the roads are suddenly made smooth. After all, going by Darwin’s theory, his spinal cord and the various joints in his body have surely evolved over so many years of travelling on pot holed roads, and have grown extra cushioning in various body parts to absorb the jarring roads. If you keep your eyes open, you will certainly spot the extra cushioning in front of the sensitive stomach and on the sides, which are lovingly called ‘love handles’. The back side cushions are especially useful for travelling by autos on pot holed roads.

Most of the the cars are advertised as having a high ground clearance, which is a pre-requisite for driving on the current Mumbai roads. What happens to such cars, if the roads are suddenly smoothened. Will it not mean thousands of dollars down the roadside nullah.

And finally there is the question of heritage. A pot holed road is a heritage site for Mumbai city. The heritage of this great city should be safe guarded from over zealous contractors, who take it upon themselves to gift smooth roads to the citizens thereby destroying heritage built over the centuries.

So come one, come all, to protect the invaluable heritage and protest against the people scheming to provide smooth roads. I am sure that this news is just a flash in the PAN, which repeats itself every year after the monsoons, to finally go down the drain during coming monsoon.

Yatindra Tawde

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