The Bus runs on poo

As man evolved, he understood that, compared to other animals, he was a weakling. This was apparent on his various hunting expeditions to provide food for his dependents. In addition to many other parameters, he lacked in speed. Most of the time, his prey galloped away or ran away, and he was left panting by the wayside. Thus his need to domesticate various other animals like the horse to gain speed. This was his preferred means of transport, whenever he needed to travel faster, till the industrial revolution, when mechanised vehicles were introduced in the form of cars. But these cars ran on petrol or diesel which were in short supply, hence expensive. He felt the need to transport a larger number of people at a time and thus a bus was born. Though it ran on the same expensive fuel, the higher numbers it carried made it economical. But this dependence on buses and cars for faster travelling meant burning of the highly polluting fuels which became one of the major factors of global warming. Thus started the search for cleaner and inexpensive energy sources. Electrical energy is cleaner and today it is taking baby steps towards electric cars but there are other cheaper energy sources too, on which buses and cars can run. Like CNG, LPG, etc. but man is never satisfied. Which brings us to the news which I read today. It seems UK has taken a very important step where they have test driven a bus run by poo. Poo, did I say! Coming to think of it, it certainly would be inexpensive as it gets generated regularly, mostly every morning. Of course, there are those unique specimens who generate it untimely. And then there are few who fall ill and cannot hold it in and have to rush to generate. There are enough species who do this extremely important social work day in and day out and contribute to reducing the global warming. My salutations to the scientists who conceived this unique energy source, based on methane conversion. The day is not far, when this poo generation takes the form of an industry where various species are lined together every morning to generate energy for the ever growing vehicle numbers. Already I see the importance of certain middle Eastern countries going down and corresponding elevation of another country which already has such an industry lining the huge network of railway tracks all across the length and breadth of its vast geography. It just needs to be tapped and exploited in a proper way. Yatindra Tawde

The legend of a photogenic Egg

It's said that Social Media is a world of'likes’ and'dislikes’. But in this world, these words are in their sillier avatar. But that is expected to happen when people can socialize only by ‘liking’ or 'disliking’. Nowadays 'likes’ have taken the form of 'love’ which is denoted by a red heart. Whereas 'dislike’ has taken an ugly turn in the form of 'troll’. But today we will concentrate on'likes’ since recently it was in the news. A puny brown egg; yes brown, for the racially sensitive, managed to dethrone the current queen of social media, on one of the social apps. Now, anyone would wonder how can people like a photo of a humble egg, that too in such large numbers. After all, it is meant for creating a life or feeding someone. Why would anyone give it so much importance? This Eggegend; that's my word for the egg legend, it gave me sleepless nights. And a depleted breakfast, as I couldn't bring myself to cannibalize a legend in the making, or rather a legend already made. So my research started and where did I roam on the big, bad Earth for doing this research? Nothing like what you would imagine. I spread myself on my sofa after eating an eggless cake, which served two purposes. One, I was eating an vegetarian snack and second, I was respecting a legend. While I lazed on the sofa, my mind was concentrated on the search engines which chugged across the pad screen. And lo and behold! There was this story of an Indian teenager who was the mastermind of this whole saga. And this was a proud moment for patriotic me. This is his story - He clicked an enticing photo of the brown egg, which did all the hard work of posturing before a DSLR camera. The teenager too, did not leave any egg...er... stone unturned, to capture the historic moment on camera. With just the right lighting and innumerable captures. Finally he was ready to challenge the reigning queen. The next step was to share his invaluable capture on the same photo sharing app, the fiefdom of the Queen. And then the masterstroke! Appeal to the empathetic feelings of the people; their propensity to support the underdog. So the photograph was captioned, 'Let's make the Egg the most liked on this app and challenge the reigning Queen!’. And the public did the rest. And the rest is history. Today this photograph is the most liked after dethroning the Queen and still counting the likes. All hail the Eggegend! Yatindra Tawde

Sterilization

From the title, you would think I am going to sermonize. But I have not joined any administrative service so why should I? Neither have I a target for sterilization. After sterilizing his own species to control population explosion and then using this weapon to sterilize his pets, man was itching to apply this birth control method on sundry species on the planet. So a search started for the most dangerous pests. And which other species is dangerous as well as a pain in the neck for the humans? The tiny mosquito, of course! In addition to stinging on all areas of the body, this pest has a tendency to buzz around the human ears, that too, in the dead of the night, acting like an alarm clock. And finally today, it made it to the news. The final frontier has been crossed. A protein has been found. And also a way to block the protein has been found too. Apparently it works like this. With whatever chemicals the scientists work with, a protein is blocked and this results in faulty eggs in which the mosquito embryo does not develop. And more than that, the female mosquito is rendered unable to concieve again in her three week life. So is it possible that in a few years there won't be any mosquitoes left on Earth? I think not, the mosquitoes might turn into a Super Bug. Yatindra Tawde

Public Library

Recently a library in New Zealand had to un-install a buzzer from outside their premises.

Apparently this high frequency buzzer had been installed by them to get rid of bullies who did not allow the students of the studious variety to study in peace. In short they were a nuisance.

But the authorities decided that the buzzer itself was a nuisance since, in addition to the bullies, it disturbed the students too.

And it was said to violate the fundamental rights of the bullies too. And , what may we ask, are the fundamental rights of the bully?

And mind you, it was not any library attached to a college or something, it was a public library.

In India, there is no such need for a buzzer to get rid of bullies, especially in a public library. First of all, the public library is usually situated in a real public place, which is quite noisy in itself. Due to which, there are not many patrons for it.

Usually such libraries are bang in the middle of the vegetable markets thus the major study which happens is, “potato 100 Rs. A kg.”, etc.

If a person goes to study physics, the only knowledge he will gain is, how the vegetable prices go on rising defying the laws of gravity. And if he goes to study the mechanics of flying rockets, he will be brought harshly down to earth, by slipping on a banana peel on the way.

I know of a public library in Thane, which is located near a fish market. It is a good place to study about the edible aquatic life and also the local names of all such fish. But then you should be able to survive the olfactory onslaught on your senses. And you can also learn haggling of the highest order.

Another library that I know of is situated bang inside a cloth market. Here you get good knowledge of the traditional Indian sarees like Kanjivaram, Paithani, Banarasi, etc. and the latest trends in fashion industry.

To keep things short, there is no need of such buzzers near our public libraries since the job is done very efficiently by the very fact that they are located in real public spaces.

One must say too efficiently, since the patrons too keep far away from them.

Yatindra